Fade to Black...
To be able to discern is the first sign of intelligence: To be able to distinguish by sight, sound, touch or knowledge one entity from another.
I was listening to Kurt Cobain today and a thought came by: A thought that hadn't entered my mind in a really, really long while. I wished I was dumb enough to just exist. (Not too dumb actually... Smart enough to make a decent living as a software engineer. Smart enough to crack a su-do-ku in 2 minutes. Just dumb enough not to feel a sense of remorse that I do not get intellectual gratification every day of my life. Just dumb enough to not feel dissatisfied by the quality of my conversations. Just dumb enough to not feel a sense of contempt at the quality of my life.)
How arrogant can I be?
Very! But that isn't the point here. Or is it?
Well let us get around that particular problem. Why don't we change the offensive word? And a few other things, while we are at it.
I wish I was numb enough to just exist. (Not too numb actually... Alive enough to still get a joy out of running and playing football. Aware enough to feel a smile creeping across my face as I listen to a particularly heart-warming rendition of Brochevaru. Just numb enough not to feel a sense of remorse that I do not get intellectual gratification every day of my life. Just numb enough to not feel dissatisfied by the quality of my conversations. Just numb enough to not be disturbed by the fact that my life is being lived like everyone else's.)
Benzodiazepine, anyone?
Awake, alive, aware, distinguishing and discerning. But not really caring too much. Comfortably light-headed. (A little nasal congestion might happen, yes. But anyone who has ever heard me sneeze will tell you that it hardly makes a difference.)
A life, yes. What a life...
(Debated, with myself, for ten minutes whether I really felt like ending that with a question mark or an exclamation mark. I didn't really know. I don't really know. I don't know if I will ever really know. Hence the ellipsis.)
sigh! There are some things I wish I never had access to in the first place.
p.s.
She once told me that I think too much. I think I agree with her.
I was listening to Kurt Cobain today and a thought came by: A thought that hadn't entered my mind in a really, really long while. I wished I was dumb enough to just exist. (Not too dumb actually... Smart enough to make a decent living as a software engineer. Smart enough to crack a su-do-ku in 2 minutes. Just dumb enough not to feel a sense of remorse that I do not get intellectual gratification every day of my life. Just dumb enough to not feel dissatisfied by the quality of my conversations. Just dumb enough to not feel a sense of contempt at the quality of my life.)
How arrogant can I be?
Very! But that isn't the point here. Or is it?
Well let us get around that particular problem. Why don't we change the offensive word? And a few other things, while we are at it.
I wish I was numb enough to just exist. (Not too numb actually... Alive enough to still get a joy out of running and playing football. Aware enough to feel a smile creeping across my face as I listen to a particularly heart-warming rendition of Brochevaru. Just numb enough not to feel a sense of remorse that I do not get intellectual gratification every day of my life. Just numb enough to not feel dissatisfied by the quality of my conversations. Just numb enough to not be disturbed by the fact that my life is being lived like everyone else's.)
Benzodiazepine, anyone?
Awake, alive, aware, distinguishing and discerning. But not really caring too much. Comfortably light-headed. (A little nasal congestion might happen, yes. But anyone who has ever heard me sneeze will tell you that it hardly makes a difference.)
A life, yes. What a life...
(Debated, with myself, for ten minutes whether I really felt like ending that with a question mark or an exclamation mark. I didn't really know. I don't really know. I don't know if I will ever really know. Hence the ellipsis.)
sigh! There are some things I wish I never had access to in the first place.
p.s.
She once told me that I think too much. I think I agree with her.
posted by Sriharsha Salagrama at
7:47 pm
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